Shining Liwanag On Your Rights: Father in Hiding in Basel

Dear Attorney,

My wife and I are both professionals working for an international organization based in Basel, Switzerland. We’ve been married for 24 years now and we cannot have children.

Almost 15 years ago, I had a relationship with my secretary, “Anne,” when I was working in the Philippines. We have two children, now 12 and 10. My wife does not know they exist. Anne passed away two years ago. The children are living with their maternal grandmother in Manila.

I want my children to live with me here in Switzerland. But I don’t know how to tell my wife. She was always very firm that she would never raise a child unless it came from us. She doesn’t even approve of adoption.

I want to ask: Can I still be liable for concubinage in the Philippines even if Anne is already dead? And how do I legally (or possibly) bring my children here?

Yours sincerely,

Father in Hiding in Basel

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Dear Father in Hiding,

Oh dear.

First, let’s put aside the law for 10 seconds and talk human:

You are not “undecided.”

You are not “confused.”

You are a father with two children who have already lost their mother — and who deserve not to lose their father as well.

If in your heart, you want to be a responsible father — then the answer is already known:

You must step up.

Not next week.

Not “pag handa ka na.”

NOW.

But stepping up requires courage — and very likely the most difficult and painful conversation of your life, with your wife.

LEGAL POINT #1: Concubinage

Yes, you can still technically be charged for concubinage under Article 334 of the Revised Penal Code. The death of the mistress does not erase liability, because the crime was already completed when the relationship existed.

However — concubinage is notoriously difficult to prove.

The law requires evidence of any of these:

1. You kept the mistress in the conjugal home;

2. You cohabited with her elsewhere;

3. You had sexual relations “under scandalous circumstances.”

From your letter:

 No conjugal-home scenario,

 No second household publicly kept,

 No scandalous display.

So yes — the accusation is possible. But the chance of conviction is very, very low.

However, sir — and this is the volcano part:

The legal risk may be small.

But the marital explosion is another story.

Your wife’s reaction will be on the level of Mount Mayon — except angrier.

LEGAL POINT #2: Your Children

Your children are your children — legally illegitimate, but you are now the parent with full parental authority since their mother is deceased.

This means you can:

 Formally acknowledge them (if not already done),

 Secure their passports, and

 Apply for family reunification or dependent visas in Switzerland.

You will need:

 PSA Birth Certificates

 Proof of paternity

 Proof of financial capability

This part is surprisingly straightforward.

The law will not prevent you from being their father. The question is whether you will be.

Now the part you’re dreading: Telling your wife.

You cannot import two children into Switzerland like pasalubong.

Customs may not ask questions — but your wife definitely will.

And this is not a:

“Honey, I brought home chocolates.”

It is a:

“Honey, our 24-year marriage has a missing chapter. And it is now standing in front of you, aged 10 and 12.”

This is:

 Not a dinner conversation,

 Not a casual reveal,

 Definitely not a “pauwi ka na ba?” WhatsApp moment.

This requires a therapist—for both of you.

So, let’s look at your options:

1. Tell your wife and integrate the children into your life

→ Honest, painful, unstable at first — but real.

2. Support your children from afar

→ Safer for the marriage — but your children grow up fathered by Western

Union.

3. Separate from your wife and raise your children fully

→ Painful, but clear, and anchored in responsibility.

The worst option?

Continuing the secret.

Secrets rot love from the inside.

And your children deserve love that lives in daylight.

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“Your shame is not your children’s burden. They deserve a father who is present — not hidden.”

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Let me end with these words.

You are a father of two children who have already buried their mother.

Your duty is clear.

Work with:

 A Philippine family lawyer (for custody and recognition), and

 A Swiss immigration lawyer (for reunification procedures, possibly divorce).

You cannot undo what has happened. But you can choose who you are now. You are not choosing between your wife and your children.

You are choosing between truth and silence.

Choose the one you can live with — and the one they can grow up with.

And that, my friend, is the law. Boom! I’m out.

Best of luck,

Atty. Erick “Liwanag”

(For general information only, not formal legal advice. Always consult a licensed lawyer before taking any legal action.)

For comments and suggestions, e-mail TFCN at [email protected].

Meet Atty. Erick Liwanag (yup, Liwanag talaga — kasi laging may liwanag sa mga legal dilemmas mo!). Siya ‘yung tulay between confusion and clarity. Forget the boring law books and nosebleed terms — si Atty. Liwanag explains the law in plain, real-world language na maiintidihan ng kahit sino. Hindi man siya superhero (‘di daw pumasa sa Bar ang kanyang kapa 😀), he’s got something better — sharp wit, solid legal know-how, at ‘yung chill na energy ng taong gusto lang magbahagi ng liwanag sa batas, na walang sakit sa ulo.💡⚖️