Shining Liwanag On Your Rights: Sickly Mum in Need
Dear Attorney,
I’m a 78-year-old widow who’ve lived and worked in Cardiff, Wales for most of my adult life. I was married to a British guy, “Keith,” and after he died 11 years ago to date, I’ve decided to return to the Philippines to spend the twilight of my years.
Keith and I have had a wonderful life together, and we were blessed with a son, “Malcolm,” who is now 32. Malcolm is single, has a nice job, and a good child, especially after his father died, until he met his partner, “Pietro”.
Two years ago, I was in and out of the hospital here in Cebu because of my deteriorating health conditions. I have accepted that this is part of ageing, but the doctors said I need my regular maintenance. I am now unable to make a long-haul flight to England for my medical needs.
In the past, Malcolm used to send me an allowance every month. At that time, I really didn’t need it as I still drew from my UK pension, but with the mounting hospital bills and medicine over the past 2 years, all my funds are now depleted. Malcolm has already stopped his monthly support to me because, according to him, he and Pietro are now building their lives together. I believe Pietro bars Malcolm from giving support to me, I know this for a fact, even before I had my medical issues.
Is there a legal way for me to bring my son to light to support his mother in need, either here in the Philippines or in England?
I will be grateful if you can shine some light on my predicament, Attorney. I know what I am asking is a bit uncommon (perhaps even taboo) for a mother to ask of her child, but I am at my wits' end. But I know in my heart that as a mother, I need to give Malcolm a safe path from Pietro to help me.
With gratitude,
Sickly Mum In Need
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Dear Sickly Mum In Need,
Oh dear.
First, let me say this gently but clearly:
You are not being selfish.
You are not being dramatic.
You are not being “pa-victim” for asking your own son for help.
You are simply a mother who cared for her child — and now needs care in return. That is not taboo.
That is life.
Now, let’s talk about Malcolm.
Once upon a time, he needed feeding, schooling, clothes, rides, bedtime, paracetamol at 3AM, and a mother’s love.
And who provided all of that?
You.
Now it is your turn to need him. And that is not a tragedy — that is the circle of care in a family.
My dear, the law is on your side.
Under Article 195 of the Family Code of the Philippines, children are legally required to support their parents who are in need.
This is not “kung may extra,” or “kung okay si Pietro.”
It is a legal obligation.
Support includes:
Medicine
Treatment and hospital expenses
Food
Everyday living needs
You have a legal right to ask.
“But Attorney, my son is in England.”
That’s okay.
You have two legal paths — one in the Philippines, and one in the UK.
Option 1 — In the Philippines
You can file a Petition for Support with the Regional Trial Court in Cebu. Once the court orders support, that order can be enforced internationally — including in the UK.
This is a normal legal process. No need for family drama or Maalaala Mo Kaya scenes. Just paperwork.
Option 2 — In England
Since Malcolm is domiciled, working, and earning in the UK, you can also apply for maintenance support under the family maintenance laws in England and Wales—particularly where a parent is dependent and the child has means.
It does not matter that you live in the Philippines.
What matters is:
He is financially capable,
You are medically in need,
Your relationship is real and documented.
An English solicitor familiar with cross-border family support can handle this.
“But Atty… I don’t want to destroy my relationship with my son.”
I’m sorry to say this but the relationship is already damaged — not by you, not by need, but by neglect.
And Pietro?
I understand why you mentioned him. It feels like the relationship changed because he came. But here is the truth you may not want to say aloud:
Pietro is not the problem.
Malcolm is making his own decisions.
Malcolm is 32. He is not 12. He is not helpless. And he certainly is not exempt.
This is not about Pietro. This is about Malcolm’s spine.
You do not need to confront him emotionally. You simply send a formal but loving letter that says:
“Anak, I need your help now. I am asking respectfully. The law also recognizes that need. I am giving you the opportunity to fulfill your duty with dignity.”
If he responds with love — wonderful.
If he does not — then you let the law step in.
No shouting.
No guilt-tripping.
No broken relationships.
Just clarity.
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“Support is not charity — it is love remembered.”
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A final word to you, my dear.
You are not choosing between love and legal action. You are choosing to give your son a path back to his better self. Because sometimes, when love gets tangled… the law is the light that helps us find the way home.
And that, my dear, is the law. Boom! I’m out.
Warmly and respectfully,
Atty. Liwanag
(This column is for educational discussion only and does not constitute legal advice. For case-specific guidance, please consult legal counsel in both the Philippines and the UK.)
For comments and suggestions, e-mail TFCN at [email protected].
Meet Atty. Erick Liwanag (yup, Liwanag talaga — kasi laging may liwanag sa mga legal dilemmas mo!). Siya ‘yung tulay between confusion and clarity. Forget the boring law books and nosebleed terms — si Atty. Liwanag explains the law in plain, real-world language na maiintidihan ng kahit sino. Hindi man siya superhero (‘di daw pumasa sa Bar ang kanyang kapa 😀), he’s got something better — sharp wit, solid legal know-how, at ‘yung chill na energy ng taong gusto lang magbahagi ng liwanag sa batas, na walang sakit sa ulo.💡⚖️
